


That thing I once wrote about a priestess of Barbie

by LuckyLadyLily



Category: Original Work
Genre: Writing Exercise, someone made a funny post and I wrote a thing about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 12:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18135767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyLadyLily/pseuds/LuckyLadyLily
Summary: Storing this here in case Tumblr dies someday so I don't lose it.





	That thing I once wrote about a priestess of Barbie

**Author's Note:**

> Storing this here in case Tumblr dies someday so I don't lose it.

Prompt:

imagine trying out a super risky outfit ur not sure is gonna land well and on your way to the party you fall into a bog and become a bog body and in like 3,000 years they pull you out in like a pink mesh bathing suit with an applique that says “barbie girl” on the front tucked in as a body suit to a pair of track shorts that say “your card was declined” on the ass and a pair of elevated 90s gel sandals with a hitclips clipped to the strap with one cartridge (60 seconds of an nsync song) and they reconstruct you in a museum and tell the public that’s how people dressed

What I wrote:

“Most of the writings and records of this period were lost to time in the digital collapse of the 22nd century and the subsequent series of world wars, leaving a major hole in our historical records of human civilization.” The curator said as he guided the group through the museum. “However, we have been able to reconstruct a great deal about the way these primitive people lived based on contextual clues.”

The stuffy little man leads you to the remains of a surprisingly well preserved body protected by a heavy layer of glass, sealed against the environment to be preserved for all time.

“This individual was found in a bog, largely preserved, and remains the best example we have of the fashion patterns of the time period. We have reconstructed what this woman would have looked like in her time through advanced scientific methods.” He said, pointing to a hologram projected over the informational plaque in front of the body, showing a fairly normal looking woman wearing the most garishly colorful clothing you have ever seen.

“It seems odd to us now, but extremely bring coloring seems to have been the fashion of the time, though this is a fairly extreme example. The inscription on the shirt reads “Barbie Girl”, Barbie of course being the goddess of young to middle aged women popularly worshiped at the time.”

You nod along to the explanation. Everyone knows about barbie, the multi faced goddess of the 20th and 21st century.

“We believe the term “Barbie Girl”, fundamentally identical to the possessive “Barbie’s Girl”, indicating that this young woman belong to a sect of particularly zealous Barbarieans. The inscription on her shorts reads “Your card was declined”, a statement of condemnation and shame to the followers of Barbie. Due to the particular flamboyancy of her outfit along with the inscriptions, we believe this woman was a priestess of barbie, likely delivering judgement in place of the goddess.”

“This was all but confirmed only 6 months ago when upon close inspection an intact data storage device was found hidden inside the ornamental shoes found on the body, containing 60 seconds of audio which has been identified as originating from the lesser muses NSYNC, which condemns the subject of the invocation as unworthy and banishing them from the singer’s presence. This was a fascinating discovery, clearly establishing a previously unsuspected link between NSYNC and Barbie. It is believed that this priestess would sing the invocation as the final nail, so to speak, in her judgements, exiling those she judged unworthy from the congregation, a fate seen as particularly hash at the time. Through months of careful work we have managed to extract the invocation fragment intact, which we will now play for you.”

The man presses a button, and the music starts. It is distorted but you are able to make out the voices even if you don’t understand what they are saying.

“It might sound crazy but it aint no lie, baby bye bye bye!”


End file.
